Promises, Promises

The promises outlined in the Big Book get a lot of press. And, for good reason. When I was drinking, all I wanted was to feel good. To hell with consequences…to hell with responsibility…to hell with all the stuff that makes life hard. If there was an easy, half-assed way to get by then that’s what I did. Until, of course, I walked into A.A. If you are looking for a quick fix, get on down the road. If you are looking to get the benefits of this program through osmosis simply by hanging out at meetings, good luck with that. I can tell you that there is only one way to make it…

…take the 12 steps, in order. Believe me, taking the steps is a lot easier than drinking! The founders knew it. So did the first 100. They knew that taking the 12 steps was the easier softer way to lasting, joyful sobriety. When they wrote about the promises in the Big Book, they were giving us a glimpse into the future. They knew that, halfway through, we would begin to sense a change in ourselves and how we viewed others. They knew we would have the courage to confront our fear and they knew we would start really living our lives with happiness.

It was easy for me to recognize the folks who had taken the Twelve Steps and were living out the promises in their lives: I wanted what they had. Very often, I see sick people in meetings that have a lot of time in the rooms. Well, time in the rooms will not bring me life changing sobriety. Time in the 12 Steps will. Meetings are not designed to replace the 12 Steps. Meetings are designed to facilitate them. Making coffee at three meetings a week will not keep me sober…making amends, cleaning house, and trusting my higher power will.

If the promises have not yet come to pass for you, have hope that they will. They are called promises for a reason: they will come true! Life will get better, attitudes will change, paradigms will shift, and soon you will be living a life that was once beyond imagination. Please, take the 12 Steps and come on in. The Fourth Dimension is truly amazing…I promise!

Time Flies….

…when you’re sober and busier than hell! I was sharing with some friends the other night that after I got sober and had my spiritual experience that things really started taking off for me. And, as a consequence, got busier than hell!

It’s a good thing, I think. Much of what makes me so harried is the service to others. That said, it also good to be able to say “I would love to help you with that; but, I am unavailable.” I have to learn to say “no” once in a while or my life and my relationship with God truly suffers.

When I am burned out, I am no good to anyone: especially those who need me most….

How’s your spirituality?

…an old timer used to ask me when I was newly sober. Part of my sponsor suggested service work was coffee. One day, while making a pot before a meeting, John came up behind me and bellowed “How’s your spirituality today?” As I turned to answer, hewould mix himself a cup of joe and wander off…not really waiting for an answer.

The thing is that, he did this nearly every day. “So,” he clapped me on the back. “How’s your spirituality today, kid?” And if I did answer, he sure did not seem too concerned. I just chalked it up to another eccentric drunk making a token effort with the new guy.

“So, how’s your spirituality?” he asked dumping powdered creamer into his coffee. As he wandered off stirring, I sat thinking about his question. How was my spirituality? Do have an honest answer? What is my relationship to my Higher Power? Have I done anything today to maintain my conscious contact with Him?

It was then I realized that John could really care less. His point was that I think about my own spiritual condition. He was not asking me for him to know; he was asking me for me to know. Man, those old-timers sure know a little something about staying sober…

So, how’s your spirituality…?

This too shall pass…

I was reminded just recently about the temporary nature of our circumstances. I was talking with some friends at a restaurant and one of them was sharing with me about how unfair life, and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous was to her. I asked her what she meant and she asked questions such as “Why is everything always my fault?” and “Why do I have to look at my part in things when other people are the cause of my pain?” She went on to say, “It really sucks when I have to play by a set of rules and everyone else does not. It’s like a free pass to do whatever they want! I am just about ready to chuck this entire program and everybody in it.”

The table went silent for a few moments before one of the old salts cocked his hat back on his head and looked over his glasses at her. “Ma’am,” he began. “All of us here know just how you feel. Looking at ourselves can sometimes be a painful thing. But, it’s the only thing we can work on changing. Hell, I thought about chucking the whole thing myself, once or twice. It just didn’t seem worth it at times.”

“Yeah!” She perked up, pointing a finger at him. “It’s just like that!”

“Well,” he continued. “You can go back to drinking if you want. But, I can assure you your problems with other people will get worse. Another thing I can assure you; what you are feeling right now will pass. The anger and frustration will not stick around forever. Pray, call your sponsor, get a commitment, be of service and this too shall pass.”

Of course the rest of us at the table nodded our heads in complete agreement. He was right: we had all been there. And just when we thought he was done,

“And for you folks that are feeling great…well, that’ll pass too!”

2009…One Day at a Time

Reflect on 2009 with Gratitude

2009. It’s official, another year has passed. It is time to take a breath and reflect on 2008. For some of us, it was the best year of our lives. We grew closer to our God and to our fellows. For others, it was a trying year of repeated failures and disappointments; yet, we came back and tried again. For others, 2008 was just a year and it seemed like we just went through the motions, marking the passing days with another step…another breath…another day of sobriety.

Some of us were happy joyous and free. Some of us were on a miserable dry bender. And some of us experienced the whole range of emotions, good to bad to indifferent. Whatever our circumstances for 2008, it is now the past. We may have more cleaning to do, however the prospect of a New Year brings with it fresh hope for us. This is an opportunity to take a moment and reflect upon how our lives have changed and how God has transformed us with His presence.

Before I move forward into 2009, replete with all my little plans and designs and resolutions, I will look upon my life with gratitude for what God has granted me as well as what He has taken from me, remembering that all I have is a daily reprieve. “Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of Sound and Fury…signifying nothing.” Here’s to a New Year and a New Life. Here’s to 2009…a day at a time.

Carry the Message…

I am a terrible sponsor…something about the way I present the program has newcomers peeling out at Step 4. Blue smoke, skid-marks, the whole deal. The first Three Steps go well: I can’t, He can, I’ll let Him. That sort of thing is comforting and comes easy to some people. Then the inevitable question: “Do I really have to write it down? I mean, I have it all in my head…” It is difficult to try and explain that yes you have to write it down. Yes, you have to see it on paper to take ownership of it. Yes, something magical happens when pen is put to paper and your character defects are there in black and white. And, yes, your decision to turn your life over to your Higher Power means you have help…and you must write. Then comes the silence. After a week they say: “I’ve been meaning to get to it” or “I’m working on it.” After two weeks they don’t return my calls. After a month their phone is disconnected. I asked my sponsor what I was doing wrong. He responded: “You can only carry the message, you cannot carry the alcoholic.” Wise words that I took to heart…but I still think I am a lousy sponsor.

Solid Recovery…

The subtitle of this blog is “Solid Recovery.” What exactly is solid recovery? Well, in a few words, it is recovery wherein the promises of the Big Book have come to fruition through the practice of the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. If you are reading this post and only some, or none, of the promises have not materialized, do not worry! I have it on good authority (and personal experience) that they will…so long as the 12 Steps are taken. If the promises have materialized in your life then you have what other people want…solid recovery. Begin by transmitting what you do have. Pass it on! Start by leaving a comment on this blog about your views and opinions concerning the program and our Victor Valley AA community. Well then, rise and let us trudge the road of Happy Destiny…